PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE !!!!!

 Hello my loves!!! this is going to be a venting post but its my last week of summer 😭😭😭 

last Friday was my registration and I also took my school pictures and I felt so pretty up until taking the picture the creepy old man taking it kept me there for like 10 minutes telling me to relax and when I did and smiled for the picture he'd leave me their smiling till my cheeks were sore from smiling and started like shaking and then it kept repeating and then I would awkwardly laugh and then HE'D TAKE THE PICTURE!!! by the time I was done all 4 of my friends were done with theirs and had been for a while and I swear if my picture turns out bad im suing. anyways I go back august 17 and im so scared on top of everything I have NO and I mean NO classes with ANY of my friends I posted my schedule on my insta spam and only two girls replied one had the first 2 periods with me (English and math) and the other only had world history with me and when I went to my main where I follow most of the sophomore class again I had no classes with no one like I swear im the only student in these classes but on the bright side kinda I got into ASL which is pretty rare for a sophomore being that they only take juniors and only take sophomore's if they had good grades the year prior on the bad side im probably gonna be the only sophomore in that class.

 I am excited to see my crush however it is complicated. I liked this guy whose name won't be disclosed lmao so we will call him baseball bat and so I've liked him since 8th grade (the end of it) up until I want to say like may this year now we were friends for the most part started being friends towards the end of 8th grade but I he told me he was going to a different school and so i was so sad but during the summer going into freshman year we text a little but he would leave me on read or delivered for hours  sometimes days until like I gave up and he lowkey ghosted me fast forward freshman year first day of school my best friend at the time came up to me and was like baseball bats here and im like yea right..... turns out he was fast forward another like a couple weeks im talking to this guy who doesn't even need a name im talking to him and we are basically dating but like never officially and so I get tired of being casual and end things around the same time my best friend at the time ended things with her boyfriend so we started to hang out a lot more and would sit in this spot at lunch everyday until one day baseball bat came and was like can I sit here and I was like yea sure and he just talked to us and this continued to happen through me an my best friend frendship ending and two other girls friendship breakups AND HE WAS FRIENDS WITH ALL 3 and still let me talk about it with him and would side with me and even went as far to being dry with them but him coming and sitting down wasn't something I really planned on I knew he would do it but it was still kinda a surprise when he did and during this we would text on insta ( I would text him) and every time he would be the same he'd answer but took forever and he'd be dry but kinda tried keeping the convo going until completly ghosting me but still talk to me at school like nothing happened.weird...... anyway fast fast forward its my birthday month im having a little get together with close friends and decide im going to invite him like we are lowkey close we tell each other things you know you know so I dm him and am like im having a b-day get together and was wondering if you wanted to come and yea that was it he text back and was like yea if im free I don't see why not I text him a week in advance he talks to me once during the week doesn't bring it up then one day im hanging out with my friend p who's dating one of his best friends and she says oh my boyfriend says baseball bat said he's not going im like okay. HE NEVER TELLS ME THAT HIMSELF finally it's my get together and HE TEXTS ME and like im so so sorry Olivia FULL NAME???  I would have gone I just got sick IM SORRY SICK!!! THATS NOT WHATY MY BEST FRIEND P TOLD ME. so I do the civil thing and am like no its fine I hope you feel better and he's like thank you but I feel really really bad im really sorry I hope you have an amazing birthday im again like don't feel bad its okay thank youu okay keep in mind its not my birthday my birthday is feb 16 its the 15 okay the next day KNOWING its my real birthday he never says happy birthday not a big deal I guess being that he said I hope you have a good birthday but how are you gonna feel bad but not wish me happy birthday on my actual birthday but its okay 😌 anyways so this year my birthday landed on a Monday which also happend to be a day off for like presidents day or something I guess its every 3rd Monday in February so we have no school my actual birthday the next day Tuesday I go to school nothing until Wednesday he comes up to me and talks to me and everything is normal BUT THAT WAS THE LAST CONVO WE HAVE FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR!!!!!! now in march we do talk but not how we usually do im in intervention which is like a 0 period in my school only for freshman and only if your a upper grade men who needs extra help we are in the same class he needed help in math and his math teacher is my intervention teacher im talking to my friend m he sits next to me and for 20 minutes says nothing we keeping making eye contact but nothing until 30 minutes in he like oh hi Olivia... im sorry have we not been sitting next to each other the entire class and it was so awkward and that was it and the official official last time... anyways I kinda give up and accept he doesn't like me im out with p again and she's like one of my boyfriends friends likes you and I guess instantly it not baseball bat its a diffrent guy we will call him skate board and yea so she's like would you date him and im like yea I mean id get to know him but yea NOTHING EVER HAPPENS oh also important to note that him and baseball bat are in fact in the same friend group anyways like I said nothing hbappens between me and skate board im pretty sure he knew I said I would get to know him we just never ended up talking to each other no bad blood it wasn't weird we just didn't but then I started to like him but beacuse he was in the same friend group and baseball bat and baseball bat and skateboard and lowkey their entire friend group would look at me I got so confused I was like why are they ALL looking at me and like smiling and it wasn't like oh they are making fun of me smiles they just like smiled not weird not scary just like a smile I don't know how to explain it anyways school ended and that was it nothing for the rest of the year so yeah im stressed to go back cause its like I like skateboard but I don't cause ive never actually talked to him but like I miss having baseball bat as a friend and just as someone I could talk to but like I keep having dreams about him like we are a thing but its not his face and now I have to go back and im scared and don't want to. now here are something I didn't mention from before that could potentially give you guys some context or ideas of why I was confused of if baseball bat could have liked me number one during the summer when I text him (last summer) I happened to mention something with an ex that happened and that was weird ( my ex) and he was like EW! NO WE DONT LIKE HIM DO WE..... I don't know about WE but I don't like him. number 2 he's always been on my main account close friends and spam (Insta) he liked EVERYTHING I post with some exceptions my posts,storys,notes like alot of it (not that big of a deal but its kinda a lot) 3rd he called/calls me livs no one calls me that people barely call me liv lt alone livs and there is a lot more that won't even get into beacuse im probably delusional anyways I hope you guys have a better love/crush life then me and advice would be heavily appreciated anyways im done venting thank youuuuu

with love ,

LIV